New Years 2022, and a Death

My Grandmother passed away today on the 31st of December 2022. I personally don’t really feel much. I knew she had it coming and I could see it happen. I’m more concerned on the effects on my mother and my family.

Makes me start to think. Is life meaningful? And what does that even mean? I know Charlie Munger would frown at that question, people who try to figure out the meaning of meaning. But its something I like to ponder.

Drucker said that he discontinued his pursuit of Investment Banking, because he didn’t want to leave this earth in a cemetery filled with rich people. And Drucker definitely had an impact, a mission. He believed that effective institutions were what guarded us from the horrors of World War II.

I guess what I’m really trying to get at is: what is my impact? Steve Jobs has that quote, where he looks in the mirror and asks himself, if this was the last day of my life, would I be okay with doing what I am about to do? That, if you live everyday like its your last, mostly likely someday it will be.

I’m not the best writer, I’m a compulsive one. I loved to draw as a kid. I still like to do so now despite my frustrations in drawing. I think other artists can attest to that. Even Leonardo Da Vinci found it as a chore sometimes.

But I believe my writing means something. No. Not even my writing. My message. The way I set an example to others. Leaders, like the top-dogs, CEOs in my company, everything they do is scrutinized, and adjusted upon. Your example speaks loads. I would like to be a good example. To people. I would like to spread my wisdom to others, younger or older, to share my observations, and be of use to people live better lives. Make people more productive, happy, better at living.

Death. An English Teacher and Improv instructor of mine told our team who had grown very close: “when you came here, you knew it was going to end.” And it’s true, I expect I will die at some point. I don’t know exactly when. We really don’t like to think about death I think. Because when you think about death, nothing really matters except the thing you want to do. I remember that I was able to talk to a long-time crush, the women’s captain of the Track Team, only when I really, really thought: hey, man, you might never get this moment ever again, make the most of it. Prior to that, I pussied out. Like big time.

It’s like deadline pressure. Things change when you have a concrete deadline ahead. You no longer dabble in the unnecessary things. You just, do.

I guess what I want is to challenge myself, to think more like Steve Jobs, and really just ask myself every day: if I were to leave this earth, would I be happy with the way I’m living now?

So I leave you with that, dear reader, I’d love to hear feedback or anything you want to say to me, please leave me an email at martinglagmanvaca@gmail.com or drop a comment below. Would love to have a conversation.